What’s one positive trait you’ve gained because of BPD?
Last Updated: 18.06.2025 12:51
It comes from Big T Trauma and is no fault of anyone who has it.
Then later on when my husband had gone to the bar..she started telling me, that they where having a affair, and that he loved her much more then me ,and other loads of visious lies.
As i gave and gave ,everything to people, they began to use me.
Can you tell me a depressing story?
They are buried together, in the same grave..
They look at me amazed ,and ask me how i could possibly know it?
But it has taught me many things other people will , never know!
Has anyone been spanked by their parents after becoming an adult?
But i went to school ,and was locked up evey evening , until he was off out on a bender..then mum would set us free, and we,d be bouncing off the walls,
The only rule us 5 kids had .
I write beautiful poetry .
With Catholic nuns and Church on Sundays.
You’d think that being brought up for so long, in those terrible circumsatances ,i would know the ways of people ,and the world, but i wasn,t in , nor of the world .
He was a brick layer (when he worked at all) and he carried his tools around ,hanging from a money belt.
What do you respect the most about Elon Musk?
So he went home with my mum to her 2 other children.
We didn’t no it wasn;t normal life..we were isolated, and taken from Dublin in Ireland ,where our whole mothers family lived , to Liverpool in England!
Its mostly always from childhood abuse .
I was grabbed out of my mother hung upside down, and rushed up to the prenatal ward, to spend 4 mths alone, with, only medical staff.
Stress hormones Adrenaline and Cortosol ,would have flooded my brain, and they never left it!!!!
I of course replied” arh beautiful!
.I left my 2 sons and my husband to do it. Instead of spending the day with them
Thats being isolated in a house, locked up as a child .We never saw any people except in School and we had no relatives in Liverpool!
Its a big thing in the States for the last 25 years.
How can we become the best humans? How can we trust each other?
We could never speak unless he spoke to us!
The only way to get rid of it forgood ,is sommence therapy,
I was the most vunerable of my siblings. I was born small ,and was sickly ,and of course none of us could ever thrive!
Are there any industries or sectors where ChatGPT is particularly well-suited for implementation?
One cannot hold on to bitterness.
Ive learnt so much.
I forgave my father, and i took care of him ,until his death in 1999..my mum left us on the 29th Jan 1998.
How can I get a girlfriend? I am 26.
Mine was extreme ,and lasted 19 years
She died at 55 of colon cancer.
(And it was in our own minds.)
Why does TikTok allow porn stars in its platform? Isn't it aimed at teenagers?
You don’ t get a state one here , in England ? until your at least 67 yrs old ! Im 63.
Although we always gave her a kiss on the cheek. She would shrink away from it!
So whats the point in blame.
If sea levels were rising, wouldn't the acreage of coastal salt marshes increase? Are they?
But people really die of the Big T Trauma!!
He took out the hammer, and explained again, how the smallest tap ,of this hammer would kill me in a second.
And i know him well ,and every thing about him. This relationship, is the only real one iIve been able to keep!
Why do unattractive men assume that a pretty woman like me want them?
But ive been too sick for many years..
He had many friends, who didn,t know the home devil he was, for his sake ,i never enlighted them either.
Why did i forgive my father ?
I only stopped writing poetry recently, because , of my brain tumor
She said her life with him ,was love, and spoke to me of all the passion, it had brought her.
19 years ,i spent with dear old papa.
My life is so biszare .
And ive living now since 2005, on disablement .(Which is a pittance)
But im a psyci anyway, and i read energy and people, .
Youll pack your bags and leave Dorset.
At this time i had honed my heart to the same, as that of a lion and i knew i wouldn’t beg or cry ,nor plead.
Due to the real legacy of trauma (B.P.D)
I did it because my mum asked me too!
He’d bring us out ,and we would form the position .
Thats was my nicest nick name for him
Im a true spealist, because i study it for years .And i still do..
We all went to grammer schools
But it wasn’t much.
He was dying to do it , i knew.
She stayed with him because she thought he,d grow out of it. He didn’t of course!
For him, I cleaned and cooked and shopped, and spent the whole day, doing a weeks work) in the only day off, i had, besides Sunday.)
And as runt ,of the litter .Which of course, i actually was!
He said i’d end up like her, and he laughed his big rolicking bear of a laugh!
A line in front of him, from the eldest to the youngest.
I let him have the joy of his friends( that i would never know myself.!)
As is all addictions, people can’t leave off.
Rather to engertic for me ,with my terrible health, but i was left to run the house, it was a Cottage in Dorset.
Trauma lives in the body, as ive explained, but it actually this that kills you in the end.
I was 9 years of age.
Yes, a stroke or heart attack is the reason on your death certificate.
It was going to be , some day.
Why ? because Trauma depletes the immune system.you get terribley ill , with chronic disease from all the horror ,and stress of it.
On the 31st of Jan this month .
Anyway, i told my husband ,and he was gobsmacked.
I ended up cooking for her, and bringing her eveywhere with us.
My familys so full of ancestral BIG T Trauma.
So i became my fathers slave and he hated me the most.
I watched his eyes light up and his twisted smile rejoice, in his joy of it all.
I couldn’t, believe it.
Was to survive, this bastard.
Insight, and i can spot a wrongin from 3 miles away.
We wern’t close any more, the family fractured, after my Mothers death, and seeing me annoyed them ,as i was the familys scapegoat..
As she had lost her son ,to fatty liver disease!
Im dying but, im not bitter.
I only knew my twisted world , and there, is no choice for a child but to live in it. Or Die in it!
He did pay me though, i made him (.After i’d trudged miles to get his pension ) Before ,it all was gone, over the pubs counter!
We born here on earth , for the soul to learn , the contrast, of heaven.
All the time i was locked up.
What did i know ?
The coal was sharp, and i usually had no underware! So my bare arse ,was cut and rossened on the coal..
That life, was meant to be , as the world teaches us great lessons, and leaves us many gifts.
Especially a lifetime of it.
One cannot live in the past .
And as she herself ,wasn’t kissed or touched as a child.
The same beautiful brown eyes my mother loved so much!
I immediatly know and see what their chidhood was. I tell them you had a awful time in childhood.
Because , i didnt have the heart to hurt my friend.!.
Do all the shopping, and cooking and look after all the dogs.
I never cut or harmed myself..
When he wanted one of his lessons to be taught!
I was seconnd youngest,
But i am married 43 years to my husband this July !
He call us down, from where ever he stashed each one of us ,that day ! We were kept seperate.!
I will be 64.
I was writing from the time i was a small child.
And if you hold on to hate you only die inside yourself,!
We were all going out this night to a fancy resteraunt.
Would this be the day?
I did write a poem about him though, and my mum.
Who then, do I blame.?
But there where , these other acts only us 2 girls, would receive, (When id have rather had his lump hammer , and chisel.).
She wouldn,t have been !
Like some twisted love , they where addicted to each other
As his daughter ,he didn’t even think I wouldn,t do it. (Look after him)
Even in the coal hole, i said the lines in my head..
One of his many names for me was Runt .He like that it rhymed with (well you know)
I had many talking therapys , but they just don,t work.
He isn,t a very sexual person at the best of times!
But he said ,he was sick of her anyway ,and only put up with her as i had a friend ,and seemed to be happy.
Comes on , in middle age.
But im dying ,and its too late for me.
My mother wasn’t a tactile women ..only as babes could she touch us. After we grew ,she couldn,t touch any of us.
One women pretended to my husband she wanted to see me for coffee ,and make friends.
My place (mostly )was the coal hole..it was a small room heaped with coal .
He resisted the act ,that day.
Her first husband, had been a gay man ,and he was a lovely person.
Trauma never leaves you! Its actually lives in the fashia ,of the body .The connective tissue.
She found it foreign!.
I worked then as a chef ,and a very good one.
Put me off passion for life!!
She died young (from the stress and abuse of Big T Trauma) of liver cancer!
Why do we forgive? Because if we don,t
When she asked me how she looked .
I had offered the whole expense of the holiday to her, free.
He’d sit me down, and stand behind the chair, Then he’d make a great show of his beauty (the chesil )and place it behind my neck ,at the base!
I wasn’t taught any boundries, our home ,was like any war zone , and Dad told us, he had bodies buried, under the floor boards.
As i said though i will be 64 on my last birthday!
And i lived it daily.
His mum and dad ,were Alcoholics!
This is how, and why children get BPD.
We were not on the streets..
I had hoped to write a book about this .
Although he,d calmed down a bit ..he still shouted his orders at me and thought , my older sister would be better at the job..
And, all my friends down the years ,where users.
She loved him until the end.
5 of us kids, and it wasn’t a big house.
I said to her
I am a twin , my twin is a boy called Alan. I had a sister and 2 other brothers
I waited trembling.
But my sister and my other 3 brothers wouldn’t have come near him every again!
So, i spoilt her more .
I do have abandomment issues but they come from being left alone ,without my mum, or any of my family in a incubator for 4 months.
I suffer greatly, because of BPD..
His abuse (his own) began at 2 years of age. His mothers friend, sexually abused him, from the age of 2.
Anyway ,i could never hold on to a relationship.
My family never makes their pension either.
My mum and dad in the seventies!
She was a women, a mother with her own children!.
My only sister also couldn,t make her life work.
He weighed in at 5 lbs .I was the second born, and i weighed 3 and a half pounds.
But, we were locked up after school.
I don,t even have a pension.
Its like, taking poison, and hoping the other person will die.
This is soul school!.
Another so called friend had bit the dust..
I got to know the terrible awful childhood, he had himself. And his Jolly Pub Persona.
He knew the spot.
I could never make a relationship work though!
Then he’ d take out his beloved lump hammer ,show it to the kids.
Im kind ,and give many things, inc money ,to any of persons in need. I have a groups of homeless beggars ..i help out daily. They all know me by name!
And don,t forget my 4 months alone, in the incubator. Knowing my brother in the womb and my mother voice .The baby knows she’s alone!
Because huge Trauma like mine is alive.
I have no regrets .
Everytime, i saw a chronically ill person in middle years.
He said i reminded him of an old aunt ,who used to beat him, and when the menapause came, she was placed in a mental home and never was released ,until she died.
Being very nice and never wanting to say the wrong thing.
I forgave my father,, and in those years i cleaned and looked after him .
The apprentership one gets in Extreme Big T Trauma childhood is insight and extreme awarness.
And when you live in a life , of being terrified, and shocked, and permantly stressed; especially as a child born in to all this .
Those are used to try and block the pain, like that of my life out..
Im constanly in a state of FLIGHT or FIGHT my whole life
My dad was a alcholic psychopath, and violent in the extreme.
I think the readers, may guess!
It will be my last birthday ,as im dying of a brain tumor and 8 other autoimune diseases.
She got all dolled up, but it looked as she was dressed up to play the part of , Florence Nightingale ,as she descended down the cottage stairs ,like a Queen.
And who doesn’t know suffering?
One was a lump hammer, another was a iron chisel.
BPD only comes to a person who has suffered childhood trauma.
Ther’s very good reasons why i was left alone.
Where the ultimate outsiders.
I was very sick at this time too.
Also my liver and lungs are fatally diseased!
Im still living with it.
Your thinking ,but those kids would have been street wise?
I might have to go back 30 generations or more..
My twin will have involuntary pissed himself, but not me at least not, that day!
She was deluded, and thought she could stay on for the reminder of the holiday!
But im an empath, and i help lots of people.
She was in good health!
She married twice! .
I was scared of men, in general
Took her away on holiday ,with us, my 2 pugs her dog, a Jack Russell.
As i do to all so called friends.?
I know ,a lot about trauma.